On Masochism

Redefining Masochism Beyond the Common Understanding

The common sense understanding of masochism is achieving erotic pleasure from pain and humiliation, where the primary aim is sexual release. This is known as sexually driven masochism.

However, other conditions lead to masochistic behaviors that are not directly tied to erotic pleasure. These fall under the umbrella of psychological masochism, a pattern of self-defeating or self-punishing behavior. Two prominent psychological theories help explain this: moral masochism and learned masochism.

What is Moral Masochism? The Role of Unconscious Guilt

A concept first identified by Sigmund Freud, moral masochism is a condition where a person self-punishes and seeks agony to relieve an overwhelming sense of unconscious guilt. The psychodynamic cycle typically follows this pattern:

1. The individual experiences intense, unmodulated anger or rage.

2. Because these aggressive thoughts are unacceptable to the person, they trigger extreme unconscious guilt.

3. To redress this guilt, the person engages in self-punishment and self-debasement for relief.

   
   

This process is often established very early in life when an individual lacks the capacity for higher-order reasoning. The hypothesis is that the individual had aggressive reactions to a harsh, punishing environment (e.g., a critical parent). The stronger the repressed anger, the more guilt it creates, and the more the person seeks self-punishment.

What is Learned Masochism? A Behavioral Explanation

A behavioral explanation, which can exist on its own or alongside moral masochism, offers another perspective. This theory of learned masochism suggests the behavior is a dysfunctional coping strategy.

Having a harsh and critical caretaker during key developmental periods, the person may have learned to actively debase themselves. The unconscious hope is that this self-punishment will finally cause the caretaker to notice their suffering and provide the desired comfort and support. It's a "forever game" driven by the expectation that this behavior will eventually be reinforced with the soothing it was always meant to secure.

It's likely that in many cases, both dynamics—moral and learned masochism—are functioning simultaneously.

The Goal of Therapy for Masochistic Behaviors

The object of therapy is to untangle these deeply ingrained patterns. The therapeutic process helps the person first acknowledge that their self-defeating behaviors are dysfunctional. From there, they can slowly work towards a mature understanding of how these dynamics developed.

By making the unconscious motivations conscious, therapy helps reduce the dysfunctional drives, allowing for a more realistic and healthier adaptation to life’s challenges.